Forbidden Love
by nocturne0
Summary: Pansy and Draco are kept from developing a proper relationship. When Pansy tries to find out more about her mother, who had vanished shortly after the girl had been born, she gains an insight into the Malfoy family and discovers some parallels.
1. Chapter One

This story is slightly off-canon already and I expect it to strongly deviate from JK Rowlings original thoughts and character conceptions as it grows longer.

Since this is my first story ever I will be thankful for any comments, please critique!

Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter, neither do I financially profit from writing fan fiction.

- Chapter One -

Snow was falling thick on Hogwarts Castle. At only six in the evening the sun had already set hours ago, still it seemed as if it had not risen for days. But the more unpleasant it was outside, the more warm and cosy the Slytherin common room appeared to its students.

It was an exceptionally quiet evening in the dungeons. Most lower-grade students had already left for home over the Christmas holidays. Still a quiet hum of uneasy excitement was in the air. A handful of boys were sitting about fully dressed up, trying to kill time until the girls were ready.

Tonight was Yule Night. Up in the girls' dorm, the young ladies were getting ready for the ball. There was chaos all around, loads of fashion and beauty stuff was scattered all over the floor, nervous giggling sounded from the room.

In between this hustle and bustle, Pansy stood in front of the mirror. Calmly she lined here eyes, applied some eye shadow and traced her lips in champagne beige before she slipped into her dress. It had been a lucky find: The simple yet elegant gown of pitch black silk concealed the missing curves and accentuated her collarbone and shoulders.

"Wait, I'll help you in," one of her roommates hurried over to arrange the cloth and close the zipper.

"Oh, thanks."

Pansy did not care much about the Yule Ball. While the other girls had started making plans weeks in advance and some of them could even hope for a little romance to develop from tonight, for Pansy it had all been clear already. She would go with Draco, and she liked it, no doubt. Still that was what everyone expected and she somehow felt like this was the main reason why he chose to go with her.

"You look fabulous," a girl hurried past, "Draco will love it."

_He might love my looks, but ... _

"Sure."

People tended to think they were a couple, when actually both of them were rather lonely. A relationship would have implied care and desire, tenderness and affection. But that was not what it was like. They did not have much in common, did not spend hours talking about everything under the sun, let alone share joy or worries. Pansy knew that Draco was not the one to openly express his feelings, but he could have at least expressed something. Instead, he preferred to make her feel like she was just any girl, easily replaceable, just so he was able to say: "No, I'm not a loner, and I'm attractive. I've got a girlfriend, see."

However, there was one crucial thing that connected them: understanding. Out of nowhere, there was an inexplicable mental intimacy between the two of them; they somehow seemed to know each other incredibly well. It was obvious to them how the other one felt, what they thought or what they would do next and both of them were aware of the invisible bond that connected them. It was a mystery to Pansy why Draco did not at all commit to or engage in their special relationship.

"It's ten to eight. We better hurry." The girls were almost out the door. "Pansy, are you coming?"

"You go without me, I'll be right there."

Pansy sat down on her bed and put on her pumps. They made her feet burn like fire within minutes, but she always felt a lot older and more grown up in high heels. Then she leaned head first and reached out for the chest under her bed. Beneath a stack of dusty old magazines a little jewellery case appeared. Pansy grabbed the silver charm bracelet inside and eyed it for a moment. It was the most precious thing she owned, both materially and immaterially, and it still looked exactly the same as back when her mother had worn it, and she had been wearing it a lot.

Although the bracelet was made from pure silver it bore heavy wear-marks: the chain itself was gravely tarnished from constant skin-contact, some of the charms were dented, scratched or missing a gemstone. Pansy was not sure whether or not to believe in a deeper meaning behind the sparkling pendants. Most of them were ordinary items, others rather mysterious-looking symbols.

She often wondered what kind of person her mother, Iris, had been. Her father had met her mother only twice before she gave birth to their daughter, but after Iris's unexplained disappearance he had taken great care of the girl. So far Pansy had not met anyone who had known her mother well enough to provide a detailed image of her personality.

Pansy put the bracelet around her wrist and got up to check her makeup one last time. Even though her looks were not what one would call natural beauty, she had brought out the best in her. At only sixteen, being attractive was vital to her; it gave her a feeling of superiority and power. In a world with so little backup and support she had to take care of herself.

- . -

"There's something you need to know … about Pansy … and you. It's …," Iris stammered. She did not know how to bring home the message. "You remember that night, last year. You and me. Well …"

"Oh." There was a pause. "Are you serious? - Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Well, that's …" He needed a minute to collect his thoughts. "That's amazing! Isn't it?"

"I … I guess." The woman felt relieved. She took a deep breath. Her words had just made Marcus the father of her baby girl.


	2. Chapter Two

- Chapter Two -

Coolly Pansy, alongside Draco, stepped into the Great Hall. They were late; none of them bothered to see Potter and the other Triwizard Champions complacently open the ball. Pansy enjoyed the elegant and mature attitude they expressed, discreet yet superior, but surrounded by hundreds of excitedly cheerful adolescents she somehow felt out of place.

While Draco scurried off to get them drinks she quickly scanned the room looking for bearable company, then hurried over to join a group of Ravenclaw girls.

"Ladies, where did your dates disappear?" she started off blithely.

"Hanging about the bar I suppose." The brown-haired girl boredly clattered her heels. "Better that way, mine was an unspeakably horrible choice anyway."

"You know, I was looking forward to doing a neat bit of dancing, but Zach's got two left feet," the other one complained. "I'm sure Draco is a fine dancer, isn't he?"

"Of which I'm sure," came a deep voice from behind. Pansy shot around.

"Mister Malfoy?" Her face expressed a mix of respect and utter surprise. The girls exchanged curious looks.

"Would you care to dance, young lady?" Aware that she would not dare refuse, he offered his arm.

McGonagall's dancing lessons twice a week paid off now: Without them Pansy would never have managed to keep step with the man. Disregarding the girl's lack of training he got going right away.

"It seems you inherited your mother's talent in dancing," he stated casually. She never missed an opportunity to take to the floor." Pansy instantly tripped over his feet, bumped two other dancing couples and had a wet encounter with a trayful of champagne glasses. Rather not.

"You knew my mother?"

"Why so surprised?"

"I no one never " It took her a moment to gather herself. "I've never met anyone What was she like?"

"Please don't take it amiss, but I'd rather address my actual concern."

"No you can't I've got so many questions. I've never met anyone who knew her well."

"Oh come on." A disbelieving laugh escaped his lips. "Well, whatever. What I wanted to say: Normally I would not bother you with that. It's more of a family business, you understand, between my son and his parents. However, since the boy decided not to take my advice, I'll have to involve you in this matter."

He lowered his voice slightly.

"Narcissa and I, we do not consent with your relationship. We are sure you are an absolutely wonderful girl. It's just that we've got other plans for Draco, you understand?"

Completely puzzled, Pansy nodded. The music stopped and he became more insistent: "You need to be aware that we are not asking you to put an end to this liaison, rather we demand your compliance in this affair. Have I made myself clear?"

Lost for words, the girl nodded.

"Well then " They shook hands before he left as suddenly as he had appeared.

"Sorry it took me so long, met some Durmstrangs. Here's your drink." Draco thrust a glass into her hand. "Hope you're okay with red wine."

"You wouldn't believe who just " She paused.

"Believe what?"

"Never mind."

She almost emptied her glass in one go.

Everyone was fast asleep when Pansy entered the dorm and silently slipped under her blanket. After some more glasses of wine and a couple of firewhiskeys she had taken a long walk outside, which had not helped her arrange her thoughts and feeling in the least. In the past years she had resigned to the fact that her mother's disappearance would eventually remain unsolved, but now she was irresolute whether or not to pursue this matter any further. And what about Draco: Had he meant to defend their relationship or was it mere rebellion against his father?

She drifted off.

- . -

Iris was woken up by loud voices coming from outside. Seconds later, dull but agitated knocking sounded from the front door.

"Open!" a familiar voice demanded.

They had found her. It had only been a matter of time. "Open or we'll let ourselves in!"

There was no escape. From the countless steps outside she could tell that they outnumbered her by far. Thank god she had found a better place for her daughter to live weeks ago, just to be on the safe side. Now this turned out to have been the best decision she had made in a long time.

_He's a good soul, responsible and thoughtful. I just couldn't give her to where she really belonged. Marcus will take good care of my girl._

"Confringo!" The door burst into pieces.

Iris closed her eyes; she was ready for the inevitable.


	3. Chapter Three

- Chapter Three -

The next morning Pansy could be found in the library. She had planned to use the holidays to do all the past-due work for her O.W.L.s, so now arithmancy literature piled up in front of her, afternoon was reserved for charm work and the evening would be spent in the Astronomy Tower.

She had found out early that her magical abilities merely concentrated on those fields of magic that did not necessarily involve a wand. Hers was a nice ten inches ash wood, excellent for supportive work and defensive spells. She knew she would never persist in a fight, but magical and mundane plants under her wing thrived and prospered - and, after countless nights of practice, she could also turn them into first-class potions.

Pansy had been ambitious ever since. On the one hand because her mother had not left her any money and her father did not earn much either, so she needed to make a living on her own soon. On the other hand because in past two years, times had been getting worse and once out of Hogwarts she would have to take care of herself. Nowadays, knowledge was power. She wanted to bring her abilities to a level where she was indispensable enough for others to protect her, be it the good or the bad guys.

Ambition aside, Pansy had other things on her mind: She needed to talk to Draco. Somehow she did not seem to be too upset about having to break up with him. If his father hadn't forced her to, sooner or later she might have ended it on her own anyway. The constant balancing act of not giving too much and receiving so little demanded a great deal from her. Not being allowed to maintain a love affair with Draco did not worry her much; she knew that something stronger connected them.

_Maybe tonight._

Pansy could not really get herself to concentrate properly, so she decided to put her studies off to another day. Instead, she grabbed a blank piece of parchment and dipped her quill into ink.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy,_

_Since our encounter last evening I feel the urge to being so bold as to ask you, not to say beg you, to spare an hour or two to tell me about my mother. I know I am not in the position to call in a favour. Still I would like to bring to your notice that I will not hesitate to accommodate your request and would be exceptionally thankful if you did alike._

_Yours respectfully,  
Pansy Parkinson_

She sent it off right away, before she changed her mind, and gave herself over to work again.

Hours later Pansy entered the common room. Draco had just returned from the Quidditch pitch. Freshly showered, he plunked down into a big, comfy armchair by the fire. Apart from them, the room was deserted. By now, even the upper grade students who had stayed for the ball were gone.

Pansy took a seat on the sofa, facing her soon-to-be-ex boyfriend.

"Draco, can we have a word?"

"What's the matter?" He nestled in his chair.

She chose to do it like splitting up was her own wish. After all, she had started to think that it might be better that way anyway.

"I don't think you're aware of the feelings I have for you." Pansy paused. She had learned that expressing feelings made her vulnerable and she needed a second to consider whether she trusted Draco enough to speak openly. _Yes._

"They're tremendous," she breathed, barely audible.

By now, Draco was sitting upright. He looked at the girl with eyes wide open.

"I'd brighten your life if you let me. I'd hold you if you needed it. I'd support you if you wished. - But you don't." She choked. "And it's tearing me apart. I can't stand it anymore."

The young man seemed lost for words.

_Too much honesty, too many emotions for you to grasp_ ...

"It's over." Pansy got up and turned to leave.

"No," it came from behind her.

"What?"

"No," calm but definite. "I won't accept that."

"What?" She laughed arrogantly to hide her confusion. "You can't just–"

"My father spoke with you, didn't he?" Draco cut her off. "It was only a matter of time. I wanted to keep you out of this, I'm sorry."

He got up to face her at eye level. "I won't let him decide on me that easily. I want to be in charge of my life."

"So I was right all the time. It was never about me." She was appalled at the thought of how he had planned to use her. Anger possessed her. "I will not let you make me the instrument of your stupid power game!" Pansy drew closer. "Don't you dare to ever talk to me again, asshole!" she threatened, gesturing furiously.

"HEY!" She had tried to slap him right in the face. "Calm down! Messing with my father isn't fun, believe me. There are many aspects in my future life he has already decided upon, and I'd never even think of not conforming. Marrying the girl he picked for me would be just one more case of abidance. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even care."

Pansy lowered herself onto the sofa. Slowly she realized that, by Draco's standards, this was close to a love confession. He sat down next to her. "If my father advised you to break up, you're better off doing so for now. There's no point in pretending, he'd find out."


	4. Chapter Four

- Chapter Four -

_Dear Ms. Parkinson,_

_I am impressed. That was pretty clever and I like how you did not let me intimidate you much._

_As you can imagine, I have got little time on my hands at the moment. Still, I think I will be able to spare an hour tomorrow before noon. It is all settled already. Severus Snape agreed to excuse you from your morning classes and you will be able to use the Floo Network in his office. He expects you at nine o'clock sharp._

_Lucius Malfoy_

_- . -  
_

The door to Professor Snape's office was open wide, so Pansy entered without knocking.

"Good morning, sir."

"Miss Parkinson, just take a seat. You will have to wait a little." He replied without looking up from what he was writing.

The girl silently sat down onto the worn-out leather sofa, so she faced the wall full of dubious ingredients. For most of the bottles and boxes she did not have the faintest idea about the purpose of their content. Some substances were eerie-looking jellies, others unspectacular powders and some seemed to be empty; maybe their content was just invisible. It did not even have to be invisible for magical reasons. Pansy was wondering whether the use of gases for potions was possible at all, when suddenly Lucius Malfoy's head appeared in the flames of the office's fireplace.

"If you'd come over now, please."

Pansy got up to to toss a handful of Floo Powder into the flames and took a step forward. "Lucius Malfoy's office!" she said and in an instant landed at the desired location. She did not dare dust down the ashes on her cloak onto the expensive-looking Persian rug.

"Good morning!" The man got up to shake hands from behind his antique desk. As the girl stretched out her arm, for a second he caught a glimpse of something silver around her ankle glistening in the sunlight that was coming from the large, ornate window behind him. Was that what he thought it was? Could it be? He needed to know.

"Please, have a seat," he said hesitantly, indicating one of two cushion chairs. Pansy needed to reach out for one of them in order to draw it closer, so the sleeve glided up her arm far enough for him to make sure.

"Is that your mother's bracelet you are wearing?"

Quickly, Pansy clasped her ankle. "Yes, sir," she stumbled. "That's the only thing she left me."

Lucius needed a moment to think. What would he do? The poor girl knew nothing about the value of her adornment, of which he could have profited immensely. However, Pansy was Iris' daughter after all, and it did not take him very long to decide that, for her safety, he would have to tell her. Everything.

He talked about Iris and how they had met at Hogwarts. That she would help them, Avery and Lucius that was, brush up their Arithmancy skills and in turn they would get her books from the library's Restricted Section. That life had been uncertain and by the time they graduated from school, the First Wizarding War was at its peak. He told her how Iris, without a family-backup, had struggled to find her way. How, at some point, blind loyalty to her friends, who had supported her for many years, had lead her to take on a huge burden - the silver bracelet. The man revealed that it was a collection of precious magical items. The charms acted as keys to Gringott's vaults holding dubious money or evidence for some people's illegal activities, temporarily deactivated portkeys, amulets and the like.

Lucius paused for couple of minutes. His voice had long lost the usual self-confident, almost narcissistic, sound to it. He appeared troubled by those repressed memories and took a deep breath before he continued.

It turned out that, with time, the Ministry got wind of Iris' crucial role as a key-keeper for a number of wizards associated with Voldemort's Death Eaters and had hunted her down. Although they had searched everything she owned, they could not find a hint to where or what the keys were and thus assumed that they were hidden somewhere nobody would ever find them.

"Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?"

What she had just heard was hard for Pansy to grasp. Instead of making things clearer, the story had raised even more questions. Her head was aching.

"Some of the wizards that had entrusted you mother with a key - and contrary to the Ministry officials those people know that we are talking about a charm bracelet here - spent years of their lives searching for it in order to regain access to whatever they had locked away. It was very wise of your mother not to let you take her last name."

Slowly, Pansy realised what this meant for her. There were wizards seeking after the keys, after her.

"So, my mother was-" She choked. "-a Death Eater?" The last words were mere whispering.

Lucius cracked a little smile. "No, dear."


End file.
